3 Things Parents Should Want in a Back to School Letter

At the end of the first day of middle school, many students will carry home at least 5 or 6 Welcome Back to School letters to their parents.  Mulitiply this for every child in the family....and a parent might be faced with reading 15 or 20 letters.  Yikes that is a lot of reading.  Nevermind all the forms that will be sent home to be signed.

I will probably not be giving long lists of rules or topics of study.  I'm always sure to tell parents how to find my email address, when I post grade updates, how they can schedule time to meet with me, when their student can get extra help and my plan time.  So that leaves space for these three topics in my Back to School Parent letter.

• #1  Parents want to know that you have their child's best interests on your radar.
• #2  Beyond the whole, "every child is special (and of course they are) and that we want them to learn and be all they can be", what attitudes and expectations do you have for their child?
• #3  What can parents do to help their child succeed in this class?

#1   

Having your child's best interests at heart is much easier said than explained.  What does that mean? 

• You expect their student to do their best work all the time.  It doesn't mean everyone has to be perfect.  I've been teaching long enough to match a child's ability with their work product.
• Everyone probably will not be doing the same thing.  Because students are different and they have different needs, some students will have different assignments.  That's scary for parents because they worry their child will feel different or be "left behind". 
• A big part of my job is knowing just how far, when and how much push their child in doing better, finding their strength and building resiliency.

Basically please trust me to do my job well. I know it's a priviledge to work with students, and especially your child, and I honor that obligation.

#2....

Personally I think all that propaganda that "everyone is special" is bunk because it's so fake.  The kids know that it isn't real.  So if I believe that it is true, what do I do to create a classroom environment that genuinely helps students find their strengths and weaknesses. 

I want parents to understand that I will get to know their child well.  I care about each student enough that I will get to know their handwriting, the kinds of mistakes they make, the places where they can shine and where they'll need a boost.  I will be there to give them a helping hand when they need it as well as the "eye" when they are trying to slide by without doing their best.  I want them to know that sometimes my class will be hard, but I will never leave their student unsupported even if their child feels a little lost.  (we call those moments planned struggle....where I intentionally give them time to work on a problem without rushing in and "saving" them)

#3

You know in all the years I was raising my own three children, I don't think a single teacher ever told me what I should/could to help my child find success in that teacher's classroom. 

• Parents to help their students by not telling them the answer.  They should hold back and ask leading questions that push their child to think for themselves.  I ask parents not to let their student get too frustrated....and if it happens to stop, send me an email and bring their child in the next morning before school to attend the free tutoring we have before school everyday.
• Parents should help students plan and carryout a schedule for doing their homework every night AND going to bed early so they get enough sleep.  Believe it or not, parents sort of leave many middle schoolers to define their own bedtime.  I get blog posts being made at 10 or 11pm.  What kind of tomorrow will that student have? 
• Parents trust their student to do their homework and they send them to their room to do it.....and their room has a TV, a computer linked to the internet and their cellphone.  I know middle schoolers are multi-taskers, but how many people really believe a 14 year old can resist all these temptations and give enough attention to their studies?

What do you think about these three points?  Are they something you feel should be communicated to parents?  I think by year's end, most students would say they enjoyed my class, that it was hard, that they were treated fairly and that they learned more than they ever dreamed they could learn.  I'm definitely not the most popular teacher.  But I think it's not about my popularity.  It's about helping students find a safe, supported place to learn.

Comments

[Bethanybeaudrie]

Thanks for the inspiring post on what to share with parents at the beginning of the year. I have taught elementary for the last 7 years and probably share too much in my parent letter. I like the idea of narrowing it down for my middle schoolers this year. Thanks! Have a great year!

[Charlotte]

Great ideas and personally I would love to see number 3 come home in a letter. How can I help my child this year while they are in your classroom? Let me know your thoughts - please! And you give parents your email? I would love that!! My boys' teachers have never given out their email addresses. It is easy to figure them and I have had one teacher who willingly responded to my emails. Was great ...

[Marsha]

Dear Bethany,

I don't know that you can really share too much...but maybe it's about chunking it up and offering info in smaller bites. I had 3 children and once they hit middle school, I was buried under an avalanche of papers that pretty much said the same thing over and over and over. It got to the point where I didn't read anyone's.

That's what made me sit back and ask myself what do they really want to know beyond the typical administriva stuff. Sure every parents wants to know how their student will be graded but I guess I don't think they'll need to know that on the first day of school.

It helped me learn that I should try to communicate who I am as a teacher and lover of learning. And that I love teaching because students make me smile. I think that's the most important information parents can know about me and my classroom from the first day.

Does that make sense?

[Marsha]

Dear Charlotte,

I thought #3 was a real keeper. It also caused me, as the teacher of the course, to sit back and figure out how to answer that question beyond the obvious.

The more I thought,though, the more I realized what they can do to help is really parenting stuff. Things like making sure the kids get enough sleep, that they actually eat soemthing for breakfast (beyond carbs that burn off quickly and leave them running on empty) and so on. Sort of non-teacher territory....because you can step on a parent's toes pretty quickly.

So I've worked at trying to frame the conversation around what I see in class...and hopefully parents will draw their own conclusions about the actions they need to take at home. Hey....I had 3 children of my own that were within 4 years of each other. It isn't easy corralling them into bed, into eating well and into learning because it's what you should do.

Thanks for adding your comment Charlotte.

[Mindy Anderson]

Great advice to teachers. Tell parents what you will do and what you expect they will do, creating a true partnership.

[Elisa]

Thanks for your ideas, Marsha. I think #3 hit a chord with me, too as it did with one of the other commenters above. Sometimes we teachers hesitate to offer parents suggestions for how they can help their children at home because we don't know how to be explicit without being too directive. I like your suggestions above because they offer clear guidelines and reminders about how to best help our children. In a nutshell, it reminds parents to be parents and to follow through on those responsibilities rather than trying to be teachers, as well. Make sense?

[Barbara Gilbert]

Homework will be practice of things your child has already learned in my class. I don't expect you to teach difficult concepts at home or spend hours struggling with your child over work that is too difficult. I expect you to write me a note should this happen.

[Marsha Ratzel]

Dear Barbara,
I couldn't agree anymore...wouldn't it be hard for most young students to have to learn new material before they've learned it. But I will play devil's advocate just a bit here....I can see the assignment where a student is asked to read something before there is instruction. Or what about the language arts teachers who asks students to prepare by reading the next chapter....

Here's where I could see that happening. Say I was going to start work on a particular topic in science or social studies. I could imagine I might ask students to pre-read the chapter before they came to class. I wouldn't hold them responsible for understanding it, but simply to have read it and be familiar with terms and ideas. It would be my intention to then follow up, go methodically through the ideas, embellish them and give additional instruction.

Practically speaking, I don't have time in class to do all the reading of articles, textbook chapters and supplemental materials.

These are instances of things I could imagine might happen.

[Brooke Anderson]

I revised my back to school documents according to your suggestions. I then decided to divide and conquer. I'm sending the impersonal information (the rules and policies) home on paper. I'm e-mailing the personal letter directly to parents. Maybe then I can have the best of both worlds.

Thanks for the post- it inspired me to do some good work!

[Marsha]

Dear Brooke,
Thank you for dropping by and offering your ideas. It really does help everyone else think bigger and bigger from the small idea I offered and started with.

Your divide and conquer strategy is wonderful. It makes so much sense because you do have to distribute all those things. Email is a wonderful tool and helps with getting the word out without fear of losing the paperwork before it reaches home.

Great suggestion and I'm sure people will benefit from reading this idea.